God Forbid a Black Girl Rock Her Fro

Who said long hair was prettier?

#notmymama

When I told her I had apprehensions about chopping my hair off, Woman started feeling some type of way: "I don't know WHO told you that long hair is prettier. I cut ALL my hair off when you were younger, so I know you ain't get that from me.....akljvleangoluagil...."  All right Ma, #mybad #iwasjustsayin.

Me? No, no. Surely, short hair cannot "work" on me.

My mother is a beautiful woman - long hair or none at all. But just because the short hair look worked for her doesn't mean that it'll work for me. Me? Girl with the big forehead? Me? Girl who likes to roll out in sweats more than "just every once in a while"? Me? Girl who already doesn't have the best self-esteem as it is... Me? No, no. Surely, short hair cannot "work" on me.

While I never was a fan of my permed-straight hair, I still felt like getting my touch-up was a must. What else was I supposed to do? Walk around with nappy roots? What kinda man Imma get with that?
Let us not forget...I live in America -- where looks are everything. What I look like walking around with a teeny weeny afro?

What would people think? And not just white people. As a matter of fact, I was more concerned with what the black people would think.
Alaina, your hair is so long and pretty; why would you cut it off? 
Alaina your kinky twists are so cute; you should put them back in and give your hair time to grow out. Alaina..........Alaina..............Alaina.................... 


Alaina... Really? #backtorealityplease

I'm always experimenting with my hair. It's fun. And if I don't like it...Well...I do something else. And my big chop should be no different. If I don't like it, it'll grow back. If I really just can't take it, I can always go buy me some weave #nobigdeal. And if you don't like it, TOUGH. This ain't about you.

It's about me. And when I sat down in that chair at the hair salon on November 27, 2010, I promised myself that -- whether I liked it or not -- I would wear my hair. What's wrong with it anyway? Is this not the hair God gave me? Why should I be ashamed of my hair? White girls can wear their hair straight or curly, short or long and not be given a second look, but if a black girl does the same thing, she's something to see. I'm tired of looking like everybody else looking like everybody else because it'll get me that attention I'm looking for, that man I need, that job I want. It'll make me pretty.

Shoooot, I am pretty. Three and a half months later, I can see that better than I could before. As the hairdresser snipped away at my relaxed hair, I didn't shed a single tear.

But I'm #notgonlie, I did get a little teary eyed when "Alaina, why would you EVER put a perm in your hair?" crossed my mind.


Well you see, I was young. I didn't know any better. All I knew was that all the other black girls were doing it. And if I could go back, I'd do it again. Because, had I not seen Alaina Then compared to Alaina Now, I would never have known that #iamnotmyhair. And I'm tiptoeing around the question because there really is no good reason as to why I would chemically straighten my hair.

It's damaging -- and not just to our hair (but that's another blog). The only positive I can think of for getting a relaxer is that it's low maintenance...Yeah, being natural is a job but "no one ever drowned in his own sweat." And we wonder #whyourhairdontgrow #smh. Let's not get so comfortable with just sitting.

After my big chop, the same folks telling me not to cut my hair were telling me how much they liked it...mmhm. Alaina, why would you EVER put a perm in your hair? If I had good hair like yours, I never would have done it. #yousureaboutthat?


We are an excuse-making people...It's too nappy. It's hard to manage. It's not pretty.

Let us not forget...I live in America -- where freedom and diversity are valued
But God forbid a black girl rock her fro.